Don't THINK and Drive
act of radical self love
Hello lovelies, welcome!
I’m Soul Surgeon, Dr. Tamy, inviting you into the journey of self-discovery through self-inquiry, one Permission Slip at a time.
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Permission Slips is a space dedicated to the path of self-discovery and awakening to the truth of who you are. My writing is shaped by personal experience, wisdom teachers from whom I’ve learned, and the timeless ancient teachings of the East.
Today’s publication is a guest post that I wrote in collaboration with Germinate, a publication on a mission to elevate 1 million humans to their fullest potential.
Today’s Permission Slip : I give myself permission to free myself from overthinking✨
Don't THINK and Drive
Overthinking is The New Drunk Driving
Photo by Cory Bouthillette on Unsplash
I’ve spent a good portion of my life driving under the influence, not alcohol, but overthinking.
This is a guest post by Dr. Tamy Faierman M.D.
Dr. Tamy is a plastic surgeon turned SOUL surgeon/transformational coach living and creating the path of self-discovery through self-inquiry, mindfulness, and present moment awareness. Follow Dr. Tamy’s publication Permission Slips on Substack.
My Story
My mind, like a tipsy navigator in the passenger seat, would slur directions at me, some of which had to do with driving and others had nothing to do with the moment at hand.
‘What if you miss your turn?”
“What if you’re late?”
“What if they don’t like you?”
“Should you have said that?”
“Don’t forget that thing you said three years ago to that guy!”
Instead of ignoring this barrage of thoughts, I would let my overthinking control the wheel, swerving my mind from one worry to the next like a car on a slippery road, taking my emotions along for the ride.
Before embarking on my spiritual journey nearly two decades ago, I constantly drove under the influence - of overthinking.
My thoughts showed up as flashing billboards along the highway of my mind, each one screaming for attention :
‘You’re going to regret this!’
“Don’t forget to plan for that!”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
Instead of focusing on the road of life at hand, my mind spun out in every direction, a pileup of what-if that went nowhere - circling the block of my mental traffic jam.
And just as driving under the influence of alcohol dulls your senses, so does driving under the influence of overthinking.
In those moments, I stopped being aware of the present moment - sights, sounds, and life happening all around me - because I was too busy running mental simulations of every possible outcome.
I was physically there, but my mind was miles away, obsessing over scenarios that would likely never happen.
Deeper Dive
There is a high cost to living under the influence of overthinking, here are just a few of these consequences :
Missed exits
When overthinking, I would get so distracted by what might happen or what already happened that I missed the opportunities right in front of me.
The perfect moment to connect, laugh, or just be would be gone because my mind was stuck in a loop.
Mental exhaustion
Overthinking drains our mental fuel tank. The constant second-guessing, analyzing, and replaying served me well in the complicated surgeries I performed in the operating room, but replaying thoughts over and over in everyday life took a toll, leaving me emotionally fatigued and disconnected from myself and others.
Unnecessary detours
Instead of taking the direct path - the one that felt simple, true, and intuitive - I spiralled into detours of self-doubt and fear, creating problems that didn’t even exist.
A lot of this unraveled around parenting and wanting to be a perfect mother (more on this in a future newsletters).
Running red lights of presence
When overthinking took over I tended to run right through the signals of the present moment, ignoring the signs that told me to stop, breathe, and pay attention to what’s actually happening. When living in this way we actually miss our lives!
How did I escape the grip of overthinking? And how can you do the same?
Photo by Mark Timberlake on Unsplash
Use breath as your sobriety test
Our breath is usually shallow, rushed, or nonexistent when we’re under the influence of overthinking. The first step to coming back to get out of your thoughts and come back into presence is to pause and breathe. Deep, intentional breaths signal our nervous system that it’s safe to let go of the thinking spiral and return to this moment.
Box breathing is a wonderful and simple tool, when practiced consistently. It’s executed in counts of 4 : inhale x 4, hold x 4 at end of inhalation, exhale x 4, hold x 4 at the end of exhalation. Repeat until your mind begins to settle. Start with the count of 4 and then find your own rhythm, maybe counts of 5’s or 6’s.
Get out of your head and into your body
Overthinking is like living in the penthouse of your mind - disconnected from the ground floor of your body. Drop into your body and tune in to what’s real and present right now.
A quick body scan can help - feel your feet on the ground, notice any tension in your shoulders, or wiggle your fingers. Ask yourself : what sensations am I feeling in my body right now? Bring your attention to them and proceed into your box breathing.
Label your thoughts to sober up
Swirling thoughts can feel overwhelming. When we step back and label them we can create a bit of distance from the thought and recognize it for what it is : just a mental event made of mental energy, it’s not reality.
When a thought arises, name it. Say out loud , “Ah, there I go overthinking again” “Oh, that’s a worry thought” “That’s a judgment thought”. Label it and release it, allowing it to fly away gently like a bird flying over the horizon.
Anchor yourself in the Now
The present moment is our most precious antidote to overthinking. Thoughts are mostly about the past or future but the Now is where life is happening and where your mind is truly free.
You can anchor back into the Now using your senses : name three things you can see in front of you, three things you can hear, and three things you can feel. This simple mindfulness exercise snaps you out of your mental fog and anchors you in the present.
Trust the road ahead
Overthinking often comes from our need to control, predict, prepare, or even attempt to prevent future possible outcomes. But the truth is - life doesn’t work that way and the road ahead is laid with uncertainty. Building trust in yourself and the journey ahead allows you to drive your mind with more ease and confidence.
When the chaos of overthinking strikes, remind yourself : “I don’t need to have all the answers right now. I trust myself to handle whatever comes.”
Create mental pit stops
Driving for too long leads to burnout so give yourself permission to pause, rest, and reset your mind throughout the day.
Schedule 5-10 minute breaks where you step away from tasks and simple be. Use this time to stretch, breathe, or just stare out the window without judging yourself for doing so.
Closing Thoughts
Breaking free from the addictive habit of overthinking doesn’t mean you’ll never have thoughts again.
It means you learn to drive your mind mindfully with your hands firmly on the wheel, instead of letting your thoughts take you for a reckless ride.
The journey of freeing yourself from overthinking is not about controlling every twist and turn - it’s about trusting the process of life and enjoying the ride.
With mindfulness tools in your pocket you can navigate life with clarity, calm, and connection, no longer a passenger to the chaos in your own mind.
So here’s to sober, intentional living - buckle up, take a breath, and enjoy the ride!
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash
Journaling Prompts
What are the most common thoughts or worries that pull you into overthinking? How do they affect your emotions, energy, and ability to stay present?
Remember a recent situation where thoughts took over. What were you afraid would happen and what actually did happen? What did you learn about your thinking patterns from this experience?
What are 3 simple things you can do every day to pull yourself out of your thoughts and into the present moment? How can you remind yourself to practice them?
Ask yourself : when I overthink, what am I trying to control? How might trusting myself and the journey help me to let go of my need for control?
I invite you to write your own PS : I give myself permission to…
Offerings from Dr. Tamy
1:1 Session: if you feel connected to the path of self-discovery, take the next step by scheduling a complimentary 30-minute zoom, 1:1 meet up with Dr. Tamy
Free Resources: if you would like additional free resources on how to begin on the path of self-discovery, please send your inquiry via DM: https://substack.com/@tamyfaierman
Germinate is on a mission to elevate 1 Million Humans to their fullest potential. Through compelling stories and insights, it shifts people’s perspectives on life and delivers powerful breakthroughs to break free from overwhelm, self-doubt, and destructive patterns. Subscribe for the inspiration and support you need to unlock unstoppable success and boundless growth.⚡️
With gratitude, light, and a dash of humor,
Dr. Tamy, Soul Surgeon ✨
TheMindFul Space/ https://www.tmfspace.com/
*p.s. i love you❣️
Lovely! I love how you compare it with driving. And having most of my life in my head, the breathe and dropping in the body hit straight to me since that helped me calm the freak down!
Hi Tamy you seemed to connect with my short 'poem' 'lost in thought' & directed me here for my thoughts on this essay of yours. I don't suffer from this kind of overwhelming thinking although I am not without my self imposed anxieties especially while driving. For me being lost in thought is a state of divine relaxation. I've always connected that cliche 'lost in thought' with this feeling. I don't want to come across as being above it all in relation to the things you point out here they are definitely some things that I have experienced. I have also experienced starting at age 50 being comfortable in my own skin more than ever so that's a plus. From your bio it's obvious your career took more ambition exertion than mine did as a young man in the blue collar trades who went on to having his own garden business. That and not defining myself early on by how much money I made. Also being a musician and a lover of good literature right from my early twenties I was more influenced by the ethics of a Bohemian lifestyle combined with a good worth ethic it has served me well. I was never in the rat race other people spoke about this isn't some sort of boast it's just how things turned out for me. Being single in my twenties and thirties without kids helped me live this sort of self-indulgent lifestyle. That last statement is self-deferential and what I mean by it is. If I would have had children in my twenties then I would have had to define myself by how much money I made cuz it all comes down to that if you want to be a responsible provider. I'll just tired this all up by saying because of this I escaped some of the anxieties you point out here.